Salt and Pepper Daddy

Dev was a courageous, gregarious Army Commander. Hot head, tough and never cared for the world. His juniors lost words and his family cringed at the thought of talking to him. He had earned so much dislike from everyone. People called him Proud.
Strong, Able-bodied and filled with Vigor. Flamboyant looks, Confident and Aggressive. Dev challenged every trusted beliefs of life, humility, goodness, prudence and even providence. He believed in himself rather than fate.
A girl was given to him in marriage, simple, quiet and quiet all the time. She took good care of the family, but never did she understand her husband nor dare speak to him apart from the necessary.
Marriage was just another phase of life. She bore him a son and he named him Harsh. She bore him a daughter and he named her Kavi. Harsh was like his mom, quiet and scared of his father. But Kavi was her father’s likeness. She had the same outspoken and fearless attitude. Strong mind and decisive.
His visit to Kavi’s school was something like a Bollywood star’s visit. He held her hand and she strained her neck to look at tall daddy’s with sheer excitement and pride, while he carried her bag, signed her reports, waited to speak to the teachers about her progress.

He was so busy trying to make his children like himself, that he missed noticing that their beautiful childhood was passing him by. More that anyone Kavi searched for the “Daddy Charm”. She wanted to be daddy’s princess, but Daddy was far.

Daddy was a responsible father, who showed no emotions, and Kavi did not want to believe that he not know how to express his emotions. This emotionlessness became contagious. From ‘Hardly Speaking’, Kavi went onto ‘Not Speaking at All’ to her father.

She missed the ‘my hero daddy’, “I love you daddy”, she silently accepted her father with anger.
Time passed, Kavi wanted to study in the London. With much trembling and fear, mother got the permission from the King of the house.
“Will Daddy miss me” said Kavi’s heart. “He won’t, he is never alone, he always has his pride to keep him company”, replied Kavi’s mind.
London gave Kavi a soul mate. She was prepared to fight it out with her father had he opposed to her marriage. But what hurt her even more, were his words, “Let her do what she wants to, if she trusts her judgement more than ours.” “Has Daddy ever loved me?” her heart could not answer.
Motherhood changed Kavi, holding a tiny life in her arms changed her perspective towards life. Her prejudices stared losing the strongholds in her mind and heart. She was more understanding and forgiving.
Two beautiful children and flourishing career, it’s been a long time since she had visited home. Summer holidays round the corner.
Something in Kavi said, “I want to go home”. Strange feeling. Flight tickets booked, bags packed. There was a sense of urgency and numbness in her thoughts. She arrived home. Mother as usual was delighted to see Kavi and grandchildren.
She scanned through the house, found Daddy sitting in the garden, ‘Nothing, nothing has changed. He is the same. I came running for nothing’.
Mother was the same, simple woman, even after 30 years of Marriage, she runs at one call from Daddy like a humble attendent, eager to take care of him, but scared to talk to him.

Morning passed and evening came. Daddy was still sitting on his throne. “How can anyone be so stone hearted” She thought.
Suddenly her stone hearted daddy moved. He turned towards her, saw her. His eyes teared. He looked at her for few seconds and then went into his room.
Kavi stood like a stone. The Flamboyant Army General had become frail, shoulders drooped, hunched with age, greyed hair, blurred vision, shivering hands, feeble steps. His eyes humble, searching for a someone he could talk to.
Kavi was shattered. It was not for nothing that she was her father’s likeness. She understood his heart. Her father was brought up very strictly, married to her mother, who was scared to speak to her husband. He had no one to understand him.
“How lonely is he, did I have to see his grey hair to understand his heart? How could I and all of us just leave him alone like this. How can I redeem the time lost and the years wasted?
“Shall I make some food for him, he likes fish pickle’. Then she said ‘Am I trying for pay back, can I ever payback”.

Kavi’s father was burdened with guilt of not being able to express his love for his family. He realized that life had almost passed. Kavi thought ‘My daddy helped me carry my school bag, I’ll help him carry his guilt.
Like father, like daughter. Just like her father’s confident and aggressive mind, Kavi reclaimed her daddy.
“Daddy I made fish pickle for you. Come let’s have dinner’. Her father was aghast, shocked that Kavi spoke to him after years. He was so glad that his daughter took the first step towards him.
His eyes glistened with tears. He smiled, wanted to say something, wiped his tears. He was such a happy Daddy. So proud of Kavi, but as usual could not express his emotions. They all sat for dinner, Kavi waited on her daddy while he loved the fish pickle.
“Daddy you have all grey hair now” Kavi said struggling to hold back her tears. Daddy looked at Kavi and they both smiled. Kavi’s son laughed and said “Grandpa, you’ve become Salt and Pepper Daddy”.

 

 

I Don’t Like Eduacation

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I Don’t Like Education
-That don’t have Moral Classes, because when we are not watching it is these teachings that will guide them.
-That are so pompous that pride rules children’s mind, instead of filling their Heart.
-That never thought of a play ground, and left it as an option that could be rented when needed.
-That has a modern and robust structure and no place for dirt and mud to play in.
-That have ACs in every room, leave no tolerance and forbearance in children, which they will need in difficult situations.
-Where they don’t get a chance to sweat out the toxins, be strong and develop resistance, instead reach out to a mineral water bottle or a hand sanitizer.
-Where mobile phone is a norm, a killer device in the hands of impressionable minds.
-Where children only from the top strata of the society study and kids will not get a chance to befriend children from all financial classes.
-Where they will not see frayed uniforms and torn books, and understand that life can be ruthless.
-Where not buying a new bag is considered as losing face.
-Where celebrating birthday with friends at the local bakery is a sacrilege.
-Where children will not understand the meaning of financial struggle and believe that life is going to hand them everything easily.
-Where kids will only speak in English and forget their mother tongue.
-Where kids will hear bad words and learn not to use them.
-Where kids will learn what is bad company and how not to follow them.
-Where building connections is more important that making best friends.
-Where children learn Self-Confidence, confuse it to be rudeness, and implement it as negative attitude.
-Where unrealistic goals and vague self-worth will shatter them in the face of failure.
-Where confidence and success, is misunderstood as ‘Me-First’ and selfishness, and when it is time for relationships they only want to be Receivers and not Givers.
-Where being popular and happening is so important that children learn more of survival tactics and less of emotional bonding.
-Where hurtful jokes replace innocent fun.
-Where being rude will be considered as frankness and being cool.
-Where children will not learn how to speak their mind, while being polite.And Politeness will be considered as weakness.
No matter what you teach them in school, the World is the Real School.
What awaits them after school will be a reality shock, if we pamper our kids with too many choices and luxuries.
While we love and care for them, let’s make them strong, because parents are the First Teachers.

My book, ‘Create Great Business and Personal Relations with Assertiveness’ is now on Amazon

Dear Bloggers. The book talks about creating a Win-Win in professional and personal relations with Assertiveness.

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Exams begin Today

Today my kids begin their exams and I can’t tell you how relieved I am, so are my kids. The preparation is steady, it’s time for battle. ‘You have worked hard, try to remember all you learned. Don’t worry, just focus and write’ I told my kids.

And in my heart, I’m happy that exam began, because, if it has begun, it will also end. I guess that’s how it is.

My kids love sports and activities, I totally support that. They get good marks, not excellent and I totally appreciate that. I want them to enjoy their school life to the fullest.

As a mother, it’s my part to make difficult things easy for them and make them learn to work hard on the doable things. I help them with their projects, I don’t teach, I facilitate. I believe when it is about creativity, just facilitate and support. I read some where, ‘Children are born Scientists’.

But what do we do about the difficult part, I call it the ‘Theoretical Part.

So we started revision 3 weeks ago. There were weekends when we started studying as early as 8am and closed at 11am. A bit of cartoons lunch and again another subject in the afternoon. Lapse of concentration starts around 2pm, so we shut shop.

While they take an afternoon nap, I start typing the revision question, print copies and staple. If you have ever typed practice questions for your kids, you will understand how insane this job is. It’s not like typing a complicated email at work, it’s not like presentations, not even like the huge excel sheet you work with.

It is lines, underlines for ‘Fill in the Blanks’. Boxes for ‘Choose the Correct Answer’, brackets for ‘Match the Following’. Forget not, it’s cursive writing and larger font. According to your kids handwriting you will have to leave space for answers. And if it is Mathematics, then it is triangle, rectangle, slanting lines and what not. Languages, I will have to write and photo copy, sigh……

These precious papers will take care of the accountability demanded from my 5yr and 7yr olds, I smiled. During week days, a video call in my lunch break will check progress and make up for my absence, I thought, as I logged off the system.

If it is hard work for me, how much more is it for little children. It must be monstrously huge. They are filled with fun and life, how difficult it should be for them to learn and then execute.

I’ve come to understand that there are 3 Big Stressors for a Child, – Ambiguity, Time and Judgement.

Ambiguity: A Clear understanding of the concept or subject is the foundation to learning and remembering. Technology comes to your aid, Smart Class, the latest Education Systems, apps and even online videos. They love to learn visually and creatively. I’ve always depended on them, they are great helpers.

Time: You cannot expect a kid to chase deadlines, so start early. For that matter, a little bit daily. A well scheduled study plan will be make things simpler.

Judgement; I’d like to present one request to all parents. Discipline the child and nurture the virtue of hard work in them, but if for whatever reason, they underperform, do not judge them. We as parents need to find out, why the child has underperformed, or is unable to put it on paper. And if they are disinterested or dyslexic, may be they are a different type of Genius.

But the tough part still remains, the learning of the mind has to be put on paper, we call it Exams!

So, after the nap, it’s playtime for my munchkins. Let me do a quick check, I thought. I asked my elder one, ‘Baby, do you remember that answer, What is the _____ of the ___ called?’.

Which one mamma?

Which one?… My heart skipped a beat, all my hard work gone? Wait, it’s not just not my hard work, he also has worked very hard. I felt….. not anger, but compassion.

I decided to surrender to God for whatever plan he had for my kids. All I know is that if they know how to choose good over evil and do what is right, if they have love, humility and compassion, discipline and hard work, they will be blessed.

At night as I was serving dinner, my elder one, running around the house is making a song out of the answer, ‘The _____ of the ____ is called _________”. He was singing it.

I did not rejoice because, he remembers the answer. I was at peace that he will be Good.

Judgement – The Lion and the Lamb

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This picture does not need a description. The lioness attacked a deer herd and was rewarded with the feeblest member of the clan, the fawn. What happens next is life and the fact that ‘Survival of the Fittest’, is still the only law of the world.

As I dwelt on this brutal reality, my mind started weaving a story. The central character of the story is neither the lioness nor the fawn, but it is the photographer who captured this image.

The photographer set his camp in the wilderness, he braved into the thicket hoping to get an award winning picture, he should be happy he did.

He was always well equipped with a gun to save his dear life, some concern for the wild made him carry a tranquilizer, a diary to write his thoughts and a camera, the sign of his passion.

He would not set foot without these four things, the gun, tranquilizer, camera and his diary.

The photographer thrilled, the hunt began. He hid in the safety of his vehicle as the lioness chased the deer herd and in a moment the fawn was in its embrace. The photographer was kindled with excitement, to see the ‘Lion and the Lamb’ in the same frame, in this case the ‘lioness and the fawn’. He gloried the beautiful creation, as the little fawn lay in the arms of this dangerous stranger.

The photographer immediately seized the image, which he knew were the last moments. ‘This will make a great story’, he thought.

The lioness does not kill the fawn; she seems awe her catch. The photographer grabs his diary to write his thoughts, his emotions flow into his words.

He raised his head to see the fawn still breathing. He could not look away from the tender fawn, its innocence and beauty, his heart is filled with pity. In a moment of sudden rage, he reaches for his gun, loads it and aims it at the lioness. He could not shoot. He takes a deep breath, puts his gun down. ‘How can I do this’, said he.

He then frantically searches his bag. It was as if he is grief stricken. ‘The lioness will kill it any moment’, he thought. He looks and sees, the lioness wickedly caressing, the fawn still alive. Again he searches desperately and finds the tranquilizer. He sets it and is all ready to change the fate of the fawn.

He stops, closes his eyes, breathes slowly, wipes the sweat of his brow, starts his vehicle, the fawn in the arms of its killer. He leaves the forest.

 

For Dear Life Sake – Unspeed

Long day at work, can’t believe it’s Friday.

Can’t wait to get home. Life is beautiful on a holiday.

I wait and wait, and no cabs… How dare!

A taxi round the corner, I think life is fair.

Hopped in with innocent excitement like a kid.

The taxi takes off, like a rocket and there…. We Skid!

Oh brother, please drive slow, I want to live.

“Sorry madam…”, a sheepish expression, that’s all he can give.

With Quantum Energy, he continues his driving pursuit.

I hope the Police don’t think we are criminals and thus us shoot.

I see everyone racing, but now they have to slow down.

I think, the bad road ahead will make them frown.

This road is known to give a back pain, you’ll feel sick

And make an appointment with an Orthopedic.

Now this bumpy, ravaged road will teach them a lesson.

Alas, they continue to speed. I guess spinal health is not enough reason.

Swarming traffic. “I’m not reaching on time. No way”.

Driver thanks his stars, when he sees a subway.

The freeway just unleashed his violent streak.

All I can do is sit and freak.

There is no stopping, the car speeds, screeches and squeals.

I feel my life is at the mercy of his wheels.

We come out of the subway and see cars trying to funnel.

My scared mind – “Did not the Princess meet with an accident in a Paris Tunnel”.

I look out and can see, other drivers on the road.

All on a mad rush, while walkers scared and toed.

The way they ride, you know, who wears the car like a precious stone.

And who drives a vehicle, he does not own.

You can tell the sober from the reckless, without guilt or sigh

And the one who is struggling to pay the car loan EMI.

While I muse looking out of the window

Sudden thud and bang. Bingo!

The driver just got a neat escape, he hit a lumber.

I said, “Brother, please don’t slumber”.

“No madam……..”, there begins the game of blame.

I remember I had to file the Life Insurance claim.

I thought, this is the end, I would have died.

Because all the driver had, was his personal goals in mind.

Well, all is well that ends well.

I just managed to get off my ride from hell.

My highest respect to all the careful drivers.

A word of caution to all the speed thrivers.

Speed is a very tempting syndrome,

But please remember, someone awaits you at home.

And so I pray for myself and those I love.

That God may have mercy and protect us from above.

My dear life, a lot has been entrusted to you, so please take care.

The next ride without Divine Protection, I cannot dare.

Caring for yourself and your loved ones is a blessing indeed.

For Dear Life Sake, please Unspeed.

Nominated for Sunshine Blogger Award!

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The year has just started and this is so humbling. My first nomination for Sunshine Blogger Award. So grateful. The biggest award for me is that my thoughts are being liked.

Thank you Twali for nominating me, I love your writing and your blog is a beautiful place to be. This is Twali’s blog, https://cafeavectwali.wordpress.com/

Twali has written some really ‘tough love’ posts as she calls it, they are sensitive and strong. At the heart of the post you will see that she cares for people. Wonderful effort of love Twali. Stay Blessed always and keep writing.

About The Sunshine Blogger Award

The sunshine award is given by bloggers to other bloggers who are inspiring, positive, and creative.

Rules of the award

1 .Shout out to the blogger who nominated you with a link to her blog.

2. Answer questions given by the blogger.

3. Nominate 11 bloggers for the sunshine award , with links to their blogs.

4. Don’t forget to notify your nominees.

5. Come up with your own questions and tag 11 other bloggers nominating them to do the same.

6. List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Awards logo in your post.

Here are the people I nominate for this award:

Twali – https://cafeavectwali.wordpress.com/

Tina – https://thetinaedit.com/

Sreejith – https://shipswake.wordpress.com/

Priya – https://priyasingh91.wordpress.com/

Grace – https://myblessingbygrace.com/

Laurhan – https://laurhan.wordpress.com/

Chris – https://therenegadepress.com/

Jodi – https://lifeinbetween.me/

Visible Spectrum – https://visiblespectrumblog.com/

Christy – https://whenwomeninspire.com/

Sonya – https://followyourshadow.me/

Now, answering Twali’s questions for me:

  • What has your experience been so far with blogging?

Blogging is like speaking to myself. I had this habit of speaking to myself and imagining stories around me. My sister’s knew this and would laugh at me, they would just walk in and say, “oh i’m sorry to disturb you, I thought you were alone.” So now I speak to the world with my posts. Love this.

  • What topic would you love to see more bloggers focus on?

I’d like to see and read stories and articles from people’s personal life, their own life or others, you can definitely change names, change a bit here and there. There is power in Truth. “Truth is stranger, than fiction”.

  • What do you hope to achieve in the blogging world?

I want people to read my post, think and feel a DejaVu. Something like, ‘I understand’, ‘I’ve been there’ kind of feeling. If I can comfort some one, make someone laugh, I’m happy.

  • Have you met anybody from a blog in real life? If not, who would you like to meet?

I have never and would love to meet all my favorite bloggers. It will be great.

  • Who has been/is your role model? Why?

I don’t have a role model. Because we all are imperfect. Trust me, I have learnt so much from a person, whom everyone called ‘good for nothing’. You can learn from someone’s success and someone’s failure.

  • Favorite spot to relax?

My mom-in-law’s house. Very quiet place. Away from the hustle. It’s like a weekend therapy.

  • One thing you can never get tired of eating?

I’m Addicted to French Fries.

  • Do you wear something you’d feel empty without? (watch, necklace, cap, shades…etc)

A Thread String like Necklace. Almost weightless.

  • Do you let everyone around you see the real you?

Not always. I stay composed most of the time around strangers.

  • Would you ever go to a nudist beach?

Nay Nay never.

  • Where would you rather be right this moment?

My mom-in-law’s place.

My questions: 

  • What’s your new year resolution, tell us something you don’t mind revealing.
  • What is the most difficult part of blogging or being a blogger.
  • What is topics do you enjoy reading and writing.
  • What do you think is your best quality or ability.
  • What do you think is the most annoying trait you have.

I thank every one who has liked my blog. Its wonderful to be appreciated. God Bless you all. 🙂